Brave parents to raise brave children

Ruan Pieterse

Balance between achievement and enjoyment is the most important factor when it comes to motivation and support of a child.

Every child is an individual and his potential should be promoted. As children’s potential differ, we would not compare one child with another.

Let children develop both creatively and naturally, as this is the way the child will reach his/her full potential. Children should be able to make their own decisions without being scared to try. Fear of what people will say or disappointment of others result in a fear to try.

The freedom to learn from every experience and the correct approach towards what he learned, make it easier easier to grow a healthy mentality and way of thinking.

A good mentality can only be developed with the correct motivation. Motivation from friends, parents and family contributes to 20% of the value. Self-motivation contributes to the other 80%. A child can motivate himself by setting small goals and working towards that.

We prepare the child for the future, not for the now. The correct approach towards the lessons learnt now, will lead to improved performance.

Based on an article originally published in the Spring edition of My Child and I, 2014.

Category: Child development: Pre teen


Brave parents raise brave children –

15 tips to raise brave children

Adele Grosse, Proud 2 Be

Encouragement for children when they are well behaved and administering punishment when they misbehave, should go hand in hand when helping them to stay disciplined. The keay is a balance between the two and knowing when to apply the appropriate.

1. Children do as you do. Make your example count.

2. Show your child how you feel. Tell him honestly how his behaviour affects you.

3. Catch her being ‘good’. When your child is behaving in a way you like, give her some positive feedback. Try to say six positive comments (praise and encouragement) for every negative comment (criticisms and reprimands).

4. Get down to your child’s level. It is a very powerful tool for communicating positively with them.

5. ‘I hear you.’ Active listening helps young children cope with their emotions.

6. Keep promises. This is how your child learns to trust and respect you.

7. Reduce temptation. Keep valuables out of sight.

8. Choose your battles. Rules are important, but use them only when it’s really important.

9. Whining: be strong. If you say ‘no’ and then give in, children will be whining even more the next time, hoping to get lucky again.

10. Keep it simple and positive. Clear instructions in simple terms given in a positive way, gets children’s heads thinking in the right direction. For example, ‘Please shut the gate’ is better than ‘Don`t leave the gate open’.

11. Responsibility and consequences. You can give children the chance to experience the natural consequences of their behaviour. For example, if your child forgot to put her lunch box in her bag, she will go hungry at lunch time. It is her hunger and her consequence. It won’t hurt her to go hungry just that one time.

12. Say it once and move on. If you want to give him one last chance to cooperate, remind him of the consequences for not cooperating. Then start counting to three.

13. Make your child feel important. Let your children contribute to the family by giving them simple, safe chores to do. This will make them feel important and build their self-esteem while helping you too.

14. Prepare for challenging situations. It will help you deailing with your challenges, if you plan around your child’s needs. Give him a five-minute warning before you need him to change activities. Talk to him about why you need his cooperation. Then he is prepared for what you expect.

15. Maintain a sense of humour. Humour that has you both laughing, is great.

Based on a series of articles originally published in the Summer-to-Spring-editions of My Child and I, 2013 – 2014

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